Sam seriously regrets not writing this sooner (AKA Bonnaroo day 2)

Friday begins at approximately 7:30, which is far too early given our 4:00 am bedtime. The sun has barely risen, but we've made the mistake of leaving the windows of our tent zipped closed. It acts like a sauna. We are all covered in a coat of sweat, the tent is already a mess of food and clothing, and there is music playing from our next door neighbors' stereo, leading us to suspect that they never turned it off. It turns out that our suspicions are correct; the radio will remain on consistantly until they depart late sunday night. We try to go back to sleep, but it's no use. It's 7:30 and we're awake. And there aren't any concerts starting until the afternoon. Well, shit.

I don the Larchmont-Mamaroneck Little League hat that will become my trusty sidekick for the duration of the weekend and we set out explore Centeroo. Just getting into Centeroo proves a challenge. I am practically strip searched; the guard even makes me take off my hat as if I'm hiding drugs underneath. I will never be searched as thoroughly as I am this first time at 8:00 AM. Before we came to Bonnaroo, Centeroo was this mysterious THING. All Kelsey and I knew, despite our intense online research, was that Centeroo is open 24 hours a day during Bonnaroo. It turns out that Centeroo is where everything is besides the camping. Unfortunately, for a good portion of those 24 hours there is absolutely nothing going on in Centeroo. The egg and cheese wrap cart is not even open yet. Granted, I'd sworn not to buy the eight dollar wrap, but the option would still have been nice.

We hang out in Centeroo for a bit but nothing's happening so we head back to the tent. It being Bonnaroo, we immediately get to mixing ourselves some margaritas. They're awful. They're hot and the mix is terrible. We're drinking them out of empty diet coke bottles. We have forgotten to buy cups, along with all those other usefull things like plates and forks. We have no bowls, spoons, or milk for our budget Wal-mart brand version of Cap'n Crunch. Things we do have: ez-chees. Well, for a little bit. We make quick work of that and our triscuits. We declare ourselves the ghettoest people at Bonnaroo.


It's about time for the concerts to actually start and Teal is requring us to go see the RX Bandits. We're locked in heated debate over whether the RX is pronounced as "prescription" or "R.X." This takes precendence over our previous debate, namely whether or not "precautious" is a word. In the dictionary/google-free universe of Bonnaroo, this is a SERIOUS debate. Ten days later, Teal will write on my facebook wall, informing me that it is a word. As we debate, we walk over to the Which Stage. As some sort of sick joke, it turns out all the venues have been confusingly named. The main stage is the What stage; the second largest is the Which Stage. The three tents are named This, That, and The Other Tent. The areas for comedy, jazz, and art are equally annoyingly named, but I don't spend any time there. One thinks that drugged-up hippies would have trouble telling the stages apart, but we have no problem. In fact, some hilarious quotes emerge as a result of the names. "They're not playing at This Tent, they're playing at the Other Tent," etc. We manage to all understand the cryptic statements. We have to go through a security check to get into centeroo.

To be honest, I remember very little of the RX Bandits' set or the Cold War Kids, who are playing afterward in That tent. Here's what I do remember: We come across a body-painting booth. A scrawnier, less-attractive version of the She-Hulk is using a spray bottle to turn another concertgoer into a larger, less-attractive version of Smurfette. Naturally, Teal must get painted.
She gets one green arm and one blue arm along with a red smiley face on her stomach. This is absolutely the coolest thing ever until we discover two facts: First, the body paint comes off onto everyone and everything. My white shirt becomes partially green. Second, the body paint WILL NOT come off of Teal's body. Teal will be a strange shade for the next 48 hours. Even a shower does not entirely remove it. We will be careful not to bump into any other colored people for the rest of the weekend, even if we feel slightly racist as a result.

Okay, so it seems I've only made it through half of day two, but this post is long enough, so I'm going to post it. Eventually, I'll finish this... I swear it!