Monday, November 12, 2007

College Puzzle Challenge Recap

Here are my notes from the College Puzzle Challenge this past Saturday:

12:29:
CPC intro runs late. Team Redundant Squad sets up shop in the "CSB 5th floor lounge thing". That is our official location.
12:55: 78th overall with 1 non-pre puzzle solved.
3:57: after realizing we've forgotten to update for a while, we are now in first at Columbia and #39 overall
4:27: #34 overall. Sandwiches are yummy. Also, music videos are annoying.
5:07: Malaise sets in. We're down to 44th. Robin is folding shit with no idea of how to proceed. Sam thinks he's made a breakthrough but he hasn't. Brad is on a sandwich run. That, at least, is good.
6:27: We were in 2nd, but after 3 quick solutions, we're back in 1st at Columbia, 48th overall.
10:20: IM IN UR PUZEL KUNFUSING UR TEEM. But on the bright side, we finally solved the shirt.

10:44: IT'S A FUCKING WHALE??!?

At around 10:44 I stopped posting as we went into high gear for out last hour and fifteen minutes. Somehow, though, we got sniped at the end, and wound up in second place. Still, not a bad showing for a team of three in a year full of labor intensive puzzles. It was definitely another fun experience and I'm kind of inclined to do it again next year, when my sailing team friends are guaranteed to not have sailing. Well, at least the ones who've graduated.

The Final Standings

A List of Every Puzzle (With Solutions)
(I really liked Lettergate, which was "the shirt", Tails of Adventure, and Form 1515a, but there were a bunch of good puzzles. Just not How to Succeed in Business. That one was LAME.)

P.S. Just so you're not confused, that's Brad in the picture, not Ethan like the Powerpoint says. We lost Ethan and Katie at the last minute and Brad was Katie's replacement.)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

THE RETURN

I am back! Sorta! This is a bit lame for a return post, but I just wanted to remind you all that I am alive and, with midterms over and the script for the first episode of my Columbia soap opera finished, I can get back to my true passion: PROCRASTINATING! BLOGGING!

I'm gonna ease back into it with a pair of unrelated links:

-An Opinion Piece on the Writer's Guild strike by Damon Lindelof, co-creator and head writer of Lost. I'm posting it for two reasons. First, I think the writer's guild deserves our support. Second, I think it's one of the best, most well-structured opinion pieces I've ever read. Read, study, take notes. You'll thank me later.

-Zakk Snyder's Watchmen Blog. So what if there's not much on it yet. There should be cool stuff soon. And there's a release date!

Friday, November 2, 2007

Random Thoughts about Columbia

Thought 1: After three years, we've finally got a good supermarket in town. Westside is relatively cheap, has a huge selection, has friendly employees, and replaced my moldy cheese without any fuss. It's really amazing how accustomed I'd come to Morton Williams's terribleness. Going grocery shopping makes me happy now.

Thought 2: I think Columbia used the smelliest fertilizer for ever single bush on campus. Our whole school has smelled like manure for a week. WTF?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Not Quite Missed Connection

So I'm sitting on the subway, minding my own business, heading toward work when a girl gets on the train wearing the exact same Beck shirt that I got when I saw him live last year, except in green. In case you don't remember my post-show post, the shirts were do-it-yourself; you bought a blank shirt and a bunch of iron-ons and designed your own shirt right there. Most people went the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink route, but I chose a more minimalist approach: A psychedelic raindrop encapsulating Beck's name and a cityscape.

Sitting on that train, seeing that girl with the same shirt, I realize that she must be my One True Love. Only right when I'm almost done gathering the courage to talk to her, she sits down with her back to me, revealing a (crooked!) picture of Beck on the back of her shirt.

I got off the train at the next stop without saying a word.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Whoa (OR The Hermeneutics of Harry Potter)

Dumbledore's gay?

My thoughts, in no particular order:

-Given that Dumbledore bears a striking resemblance to a certain Gandalf the Grey, was Rowling inspired by Ian McKellen?

-Why now?

-The Harry Potter books are bringing an interesting hermeneutical question to light. There's a longstanding debate on how best to read texts: do you read them as entirely independent entities, drawing your own conclusions, or do you try to read them the way the author intended? Usually, it's not particularly easy to figure out what the author intended. You can't go ask Dante how we're supposed to react to his finding all his role models in hell. But here we have J.K. Rowling traveling around the world telling children facts about the characters, their pasts, and their futures that do not appear anywhere in the book, and often aren't even really hinted at. The Dumbledore thing I'll buy, but Hermione becoming a wizard lawyer after the only mention of her thinking about law is her saying that she'd hate to be a lawyer? I guess it works, but I'd be hesitant to claim it's in the text.

A further example of what I'm talking about: In telling the world that Dumbledore was gay, Rowling also described the Harry Potter story as "a plea for an end to hatred, to bigotry." While I think there is definitely bigotry in the book, and it is uniformly frowned up, my take is that the bigotry is more a function of people being good and people being bad. Yes, Voldemort wants to create a master race of pureblood wizards, but that's secondary to his general malevolence and his status as a dark wizard. Now, I'm not saying my reading is right, and according to Rowling, it's wrong, but the question I'm really trying to raise for your consideration is ultimately one about the final arbiter. Is it Rowling or the book? Who's righter?

Coming full circle in my post, it sorta reminds me of Tolkien's adamant claims that The Lord of the Rings is not about World War II. Whether he meant to or not, the WWII stuff is there. I think the key difference between Harry Potter and other cases like Tolkien, is that Rowling is not merely offering her own interpretation of the material but relating facts that are not mentioned in the book. I don't really know how I feel about it yet, but I do think it's interesting to consider.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

People who know me know that I'm big fan of driving. Sure it's a great form of transportation, but mostly I just like the act of driving and everything it entails: going fast, windows down, good music vaguely audible in the background. My friends used to get mad at me back when I first started driving and didn't really know where I was going. We'd get lost a lot and it never bothered me; getting lost in a car was an adventure!

So it's with that in mind that I link you to this awesome WIRED article about the guy who broke the Cannonball Run record. The way he did it, tricked out with GPS systems and spreadsheets, may not be the most romantic method, but it's still a really cool article.

Also, because I love you, here's a BONUS LINK:
Happy 10th birthday, Zaireeka!
(Zaireeka is a 4-disc Flaming Lips album. Each disc has two of the audio tracks from each of the album's eight songs. You play them (and LOUD!) on four different CD players (or more, if you burn copies or use computers). The result is one of the most enthralling music-listening experiences ever. Columbia people, stay tuned for info on a Zaireeka party. I'm dead serious.)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

SAM WILL STOMP YOU!

USING HIS GIANT FOOT! (or a drawing of his actual-size foot that makes it appear to be giant!)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Galactus!

One of the really cool/uncool things about working at Marvel over the summer was that I was privy to a lot of information that I was not allowed to share with the public. For example, I had to make sure people knew Phil Jimenez was working for Marvel before I wrote that post about him. If it hadn't been public knowledge someone might have noticed and drawn conclusions, which would have been bad news for me.

Another example was one of the funniest things I witnessed during the summer, which was my editor Tom Brevoort dressed up as Galactus for an extra on the Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer DVD. I desperately wanted to post a picture but decided it was not a good idea. Anyway, Tom has now posted about it over on his blog, which means I can write about it. Of course, that mostly just entails me telling you to follow that link because the pictures are priceless and his summary of his time as one of the most powerful entities in the universe is equally hilarious.

Yeah, I'm done.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Adventures in typography!

Somewhat inspired by this awesome blog about superhero comic logos, a lot of my doodles of late have been less in the figure drawing vein and more in the typography vein, even the ones that aren't the titles for my weekly Heidegger class. Among other things, I've been trying to hand-draw something resembling a serif font, with decent results. I don't really like how the "Day 6" turned out, but I put it up because it fit the theme. On the other hand, I think the "Day 5" title is really cool. I am also really amused by the fact that my Plato's Republic banner ended up look suspiciously (and utterly coincidentally) like the Banana Republic logo.




Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Two in one day?

Yes, two posts in one day... shocking, isn't it? Must be one of three things: either I'm avoiding doing homework, Ahmadinejad's come back, or I finished a new song. At least two answers are acceptable; I'll let you guess which ones.

Anyway, here's my newest song Young and In Love.

It's about, well, young love, but also robots and dancing. Enjoy.

The Evolution of a Self-Portrait

Had to do a self-portrait for class, scanned a few versions of it in between corrections and stuff, thought it might be interesting to someone (mostly my mom). Lemme know what y'all think. Does it get better? Worse? The same?
(click any picture for a bigger version)




EDIT: Here's the photo I was working from, if you're curious:

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Talk about Fellini, over fettucini

No dice with the Varsity show, so I think I'll post my second audition piece. It's a slow jam about a Columbia Date called "Do It Right". Here are the rules I had to follow/things I had to include:
-a rhyme involving a species of dinosaur and another involving a type of pasta
-a joke aimed at a member of the creative team
-an instrumental, different dance section
-a final chorus with four part harmony.

At first I was pretty bummed I didn't get the job, but now I'm feeling pretty good. I mean, I used to be scared of writing vocal harmonies into my songs, but this one has a five-part final chorus! So that's pretty cool. Anyway, I apologize it's slightly rough, I only had a few days to write and record it, plus I did all the backup vocals (besides the female ones done by the inimitable Caroline Sherman) myself. And it's hard to be your own a cappella group. Seriously.

Okay, without further ado... HERE it is. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Back in the Saddle (That's a country music pun)

It's funny how I'll be so good about posting all the time and then TOTALLY lose it and not post for a week. But this time I have a really good excuse, I swear! I mean, I haven't even seen the latest episode of Californication yet!

The reason, you ask? Well, in addition to applying to my first job (McKinsey!), I also have been auditioning for the Varsity Show composer/lyricist. For you non-Columbia people, the Varsity Show is a huge musical put on every spring. It's totally student-done and one of Columbia's oldest traditions. I mean, Rodgers and Hammerstein got their start writing music for the Varsity Show. Anyway, I applied and got a callback and just had my second audition tonight so I'm kind of freaking out, fretting (pardon the guitar pun) about whether I got the job.

Okay, that was all just a long-winded way of explaining the song I'm putting up. It is by no means an official definitive recording of the song, but it is A recording of my first audition piece. The prompt was a song about going out at/around Columbia. So here's my song, entitled "Choosy Guy". Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Monday, September 24, 2007

Notes On My Ahmadinejadventure

(Note: I apologize for the un-timely nature of this blog post, given that the whole world has already posted about this, but I'm trying to be thorough and, well, that takes time.)

Wow.

I'd been thinking the actual Ahmadinejad talk would be an anti-climax, but... wow.

Ahmadinejad entered first to confusion ("Is he that one with the beard?") and then to a surprising amount of applause. A whole section even gave him a standing ovation. However, it was nothing compared to the huge round of applause Bollinger received upon his entrance. His speech, simply put, was fantastic. He began with a defense of his decision, claiming that deciding to listen to someone like Ahmadinejad does not imply that we agree, or that we are weak or naive. He told those who disagreed with his choice that he understood their position and found it reasonable. One of the important parts of free speech is debating free speech itself, including its limits. Still, he stressed that this speech was not about any of Ahmadinejad's rights, but about our right to listen. Then Bollinger dropped his first bomb, saying that we needed to understand "the mind of evil." Yes, he used the E-word. It caused a lot of murmurs through the audience.

Bollinger next outlined the tough issues he wanted Ahamadinejad to address:

-The crackdown on scholars, activists, and writers - In specific, Bollinger called for the release of Kian Tajbakhsh, a Columbia graduate who was imprisoned in Iran. He was set free a few days ago, seemingly in response to our invitation, but he is apparently stil under house arrest. Bollinger demanded his safe return to Columbia, where he apparently now has a job as a professor. Ahmadinejad never responded to this, but I suspect we'll be seeing Tajbakhsh soon. If this guy goes free, I think that alone is enough to justify this whole event.

-The execution of minors and the violation of civil rights that public hanging represents.

-His dispute with the west and the way most Iranian feel it's overshadowing the terrible situation within Iran.

-His Holocaust Denial- Another bombshell, Bollinger said Ahmadinejad's view on "the most documented event in history" shows he is "either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated." Whammy.

-His opposition to Israel- Apparently Columbia has over 800 graduates in Israel?

-Reports of Iran funding Iraqi insurgents.

-His claims of wanting nuclear power for peaceful reasons and the dissonance with his constant threats of military action.

Bollinger had another zinger, telling Ahmadinejad that his actions "exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator." He finished by saying that he doubted Ahmadinejad had the intellectual courage to answer these questions rather than hiding behind his fanatical viewpoint, but he hoped he would. It's hard to dislike Prezbo after that speech (not that I did before), because frankly, he's a supreme badass. He had a lot to prove with that speech and he hit every ball out of the park.

Ahmadinejad's speech was, well, weaker, but very interesting. He opened first with a prayer from the Koran and a few complaints, namely that Bollinger was a bad host; in addition to being rude, Prezbo had also "vaccinated" us to oppose Ahmadinejad. The spin engine officially running, Ahmadinejad began his speech which, oddly, focused on education.

I'm not really going to say too much about his speech, because most of it was circular and oddly-phrased. It's been said repeatedly that the goal of this event was to open dialogue. Ahmadinejad may have been spinning like mad but his pre-written speech was very telling. Heavily steeped in biblical language and using the word "science" haphazardly, Ahmadinejad's language sounded less like a speech from now and more like pre-Newtownian natural philosophy. It was also biblical in its utter lack of structure. There was no logical flow, just roundabout restating of his main point. I think sometimes we forget that even the less fundamentalist Arabs are still heavily influenced by the Koran and its strange logic.

Another explanation is that Ahmadinejad was just lulling us into a sort of trance. Eventually I found myself thinking, "Yeah, he's just saying obvious things that I have to agree with." As a result, when about three-quarters of the way through his speech he suddenly, and vaguely at first, began a tirade against America, it took a moment for me to realize I no longer agreed with him. Next though you know he's talking about how corrupt people (read: America) are using science and wisdom to mislead others for personal gain, by creating an insecure atmosphere and excuse wrongdoings.

He finally got to the real meat of his speech toward the end, first talking about nukes. They're bad uses of science because they are bad for the world, and because we (the west) have created a monopoly on science by barring Iran from starting a nuclear program. He moved on to discuss his holocaust denial, prefacing it by saying that his "main job is a university instructor." This was important because he framed his holocaust denial as merely looking at the Holocaust from different perspectives. In addition, he claimed his primary issue with the Holocaust was that the Palestinians were paying for something that happened in Europe.

He returned to the nuclear issue, this time more aggressively, saying Iran has cooperated with inspectors and none have found any evidence of using the nuclear research to create weapons. At that point, the bell rang signaling that Ahmadinejad was out of time, but he ignored it, until it rang a second time and Dean Coatsworth stopped him. This was another shrewd move on his part. It made him look like a martyr, being shut down by the mean Americans and their biased debate rules.

This is a good time as any to mention that I was SHOCKED by the amount of support Ahmadinejad had in the audience. Sure, some of them were plants, but there were definitely a fair amount of people in the audience who applauded him. Whether it was because he made arguably true statements about America in the midst of evading his own issues or because these people generally supported him is hard to say. Either way, sorta scary. On the other hand, a lot of people were booing him. I just find booing kinda distasteful in general. It really doesn't add anything to a dialogue and usually just comes off as rude.

Anyway, then it was time for the question and answer session. I'm gonna do this in notes format... well, sorta.

Q: Do you seek the destruction of Jews and Israel?
A: We love every nation. Also, we have lots of Jews in Iran and always have a Jewish representative in the government, but we need to let Palestinians solve issues for themselves and that is why we call for a free referendum in the Middle East to decide Israel's future without interference from the west.

Follow-up Q: We'd like a more specific answer, and a simple yes or no will suffice. (I felt that was sort of tacky)
A: Not a yes or no, but more of the same.

Q: Why is your government providing aid to terrorists and will you stop?
A: If someone set off bombs around you, would you award them or call them a terrorist? We have known terrorism in Iran. The past Iranian President and Prime Minister were killed in a terrorist attack. There have been over 4000 killed by one group (he didn't mention which group, anybody know?) and America is supporting them. We were the first to oppose terrorism. We need to eradicate the root causes of terrorism.

Q: How can you deny the Holocaust?
A: What is so bad about asking questions? I am a researcher, I just want to research.(except longer winded)

Follow-up: But we have established FACTS.
A: More of the same.

Q: What are your views on Homosexuals and Women? Why do you mistreat them and execute them and such?
A: We have lots of freedoms. Two of our vice-presidents are women and we have hundreds of female scientists. Our nation is free. We have an 80-90% voter turnout which is the best in the world (Is this true?)
As for executions, don't you have capital punishment? We execute drug traffickers because they are destroying our country. (then there's a long rant about drug trafficking).

Follow-up: We weren't talking about drugs, but about homosexuals and women.
A: And here's what's become the big pull-away Ahmadinejad quote: "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country. We don't have that phenomenon. Who said that?" But women are respected. Families are happy when they have girls instead of boys. Girls are the best of God's creations and we treat them so well that they have less legal responsibilities.

(I think part of the problem is that these two issues are always brought up together when in fact they're very different. Ahmadinejad is actually historically pretty good to Iranian women, but is frequently overpowered by the Ayatollah, which was the case when he allowed them to attend football games. While the women's rights issue may be a large one in Iran, it isn't really something you can hold against Ahmadinejad. On the other hand, his regime has been hanging homosexuals. That is something you can hold against him.

Okay, back to his words, not mine.)

Q: What did you hope to accomplish in coming here? What would you have said if you had been able to go to the World Trade Center site?
A: I came here because I was invited. In Iran you respect guests. At the World Trade Center site I wanted to show respect and sympathy. Why would you think that's an insult. It's a pessimistic approach. If we looked at the real causes of 9/11 and put it all together we can fix those problems.

Q: The nuclear weapons question.
A: The same answer he gave before, except a bit more nuanced. This is a political issue not a legal issue. There is no indication that our nuclear program is anything but peaceful.

Q: Is Iran prepared to open discussions with the US?
A: From the start, we have been ready to negotiate with all countries. We want talks, with mutual respect. We had three rounds of talks about Iraq with Bush. Wants to debate Bush in the UN but Bush won't.

At the end, he thanked us all and invited us to come speak at Iranian Universities. Coatsworth ended with a snarky remark about Ahmadinejad not answering questions well and that was that. Ahmadinejad dodged questions deftly, but I think his answers were very telling. People have said he made his speech to his supporters but I really think he tailored it to the audience, spinning his answers into attacks against U.S. policies that liberals are (or should be) uncomfortable with, for example our controlling who is allowed to have a nuclear program, our wiretapping, our presence in Iraq (implying that we are the real terrorists), our capital punishment system, etc. He gets us agreeing with him so that we forget he's not even answering the question he's supposed to be. That said, I think this was a clear failure for him and reports, besides Bill O'Reilly of course, seem to suggest that people have really come around and are more supportive of the event after the fact.

I'm going to look at my video footage tomorrow and see if there's anything worth posting but I doubt it.

For now, though, Sam Roberts, citzen journalist, signing off.

Posting Posters


It's hard to tell exactly what this counter-posterer's agenda is. Does she oppose the position the poster takes, or its use of brutal imagery?


I talked to the guy putting these posters up. He just thinks the whole thing is less politics and more theater, and decided to add to the absurdity.


Apparently people think we're actually close to war in Iran. Anyway, this poster shows a lot of dedication.


Not exactly a poster, but there is something funny about seeing an NYPD car parked on top of a Pro-Iran poster.

What I think is especially funny about the posters, though these aren't the best examples of this, is that a its hard to tell who put some of them up. It's not always clear whether they support Ahmadinejad or oppose him. I guess that's good, because it forces you to really think, but it's also sort of silly that people can't make posters that make their views clear.

All Quiet on the Westside Front

So I got up bright and early, video camera in hand, prepared to do some citizen journalism at the crazy protests.

Except... there aren't any. Right now it's just a lot of frustrated reporters trying and failing to do man on the street stuff and a couple people who are already in line to get their seats (doors aren't until 11, though).

In the place of protesters we've got posters and counter-posters and counter-everything posters. I've been taking some pictures of my favorite ones, which'll be up when I get back to my own computer and can upload them (I'm in Butler right now.)

Basically, the mood right now is that oh-so-cliche-calm before the storm, just with a few people frantically trying to find that one spot that still hasn't been covered in a poster.

I'll keep you all informed.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Craziness

If haven't been following the Bwog, you really should be. Their coverage of the Ahmadinejad event the growing protests has been excellent. Apparently, things are really getting intense. They estimate there will be ten thousand protesters tomorrow. Yes, TEN. THOUSAND.

I'm going try and get some footage of the insanity with my video camera tonight and tomorrow. Obviously I'll post anything good and I'll definitely have a post-speech entry, so watch out for that too.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

A Different Perspective on Notecards

So Bwog compiled a list of all the statements student groups have been making about Ahmadinejad. For me, one thing stands out. It seems a lot of people are upset because students will not be asking questions directly. Instead, they will be submitting questions on notecards; the moderator will then select questions from this pool and ask them.

The objection stems from the notion that this is a form of censorship, cutting us out of the conversation. The student leaders are using it as evidence that Columbia is not as interested in discourse as it pretends to be. I disagree. I think it's actually an excellent choice for this particular speaker for several reasons:

1. Ahamdinejad is a smooth speaker and spinster. Columbia students, on the other hand, may be incredibly smart, but they're also frequently overly emotional speakers. I remember a few years ago when John Ashcroft came to Columbia. Despite a number of hard questions, he came out looking better than the students because he kept his composure unlike the students who shouted and generally came off as somewhat barbaric. I think Ahmadinejad will inspire feelings significantly more intense than those Ashcroft inspired and it would be a terrible shame if he came out of this as the reasonable one in the debate. Having the moderator ask the questions ensures that they will be posed calmly and that focus will be on the thrust of the question rather than the anger of the questioner.

2. Even though half of the time allotted is reserved for questions, there will undoubtedly be too little time for all the questions people want to ask. I would rather the best questions get asked than those of the students who rush the mics right when they open up. Those will probably be the angriest students, and therefore the ones most likely to pose poorly-thought out questions that are nothing more than thinly-veiled statements of hatred. I'd rather hear from the more contemplative students. Notecards ensure that both get a fair opportunity to have their questions answered, which can only result in better questions.

I'll admit, all of this rests on Columbia being truly devoted to asking the tough questions and really challenging Ahmadinejad, but everything Bollinger's said suggests that he really wants to take Ahmadinejad to the mat. With that goal in mind, posing questions via notecards can only help.

LateNite writing for LateNite Theater

Okay, so one of the things I've always wanted to do at Columbia is submit a one-act play to LateNite theater. LateNite puts on a show of short student-written plays every semester. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're... not so good, but I always really enjoy the show. It's just fun and low-key.

So like I was saying, I've always wanted to submit something, so a few days ago I decided I was going to do it this semester. Then I realized that submissions were due tonight at midnight (that is, about 20 minutes ago). I went for it anyway, wrote the whole thing today and finished at roughly midnight. I don't know if it's great, but I think it's a pretty cool thing to do. Projects with time constraints are fun cause they force you to just DO something.

So yeah, my play is called Closure, and if you wanna read the play, here it is in PDF format. Let me know what you think.

(Hah, that was a joke. I know you're all way too wimpy to comment. Seriously, wtf? Charlie started his new blog and within 12 hours had two comments. Step it up, guys.)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Daily Doodle

Here's the header from yesterday's Heidegger notes. I never really know what we're going to be talking about, so it's just done by day.


Is this going to be a daily feature? Well, it sure is easier than actually writing something.

Safe and Sound

I dunno about you all, but nothing makes me feel safer than hearing a weird whirring noise and not realizing for 10 minutes that yes, it is a fire alarm, not just construction, and that yes, I probably should leave my room.

Go Columbia fire safety!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ahmadinejad: The Reckoning


So a year later, Ahmadinejad is actually coming to Columbia. If you wanna buy tickets, here's a link.

I've already written a post about this topic, but I do think it's funny how this year the protests seem to be, well, nonexistent. With any luck, it'll stay that way and we'll actually get to hear him talk. It should be a really fascinating talk.

(On a unrelated note, how have I never need a Columbia label in this blog? Or one for politics? And yet I have "making fun of study abroad kids"? WTF, me?)

UPDATE: Wow, I didn't even mean to, but it seems I used the exact same picture as The Bwog. Great minds think alike?

Double Doodle!

More doodles from History of Philosophy.



For what it's worth, I think I'm gonna leave the note parts in next time... I feel they add something.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A Little Slow (and not just in terms of my diction)

I'm at Eleven Madison, confirming reservations for Saturday night, and one of the guests doesn't pick up. (This happens frequently.) I leave a message, but I've already done a ton of them tonight, so it's not one of my A-game voicemails. I hang up the phone and think to myself, "wow, I really phoned that one in."

Only 5 minutes later do I realize how ridiculous a thought that is. I should put it on my app when I apply for a job as punologist for the next Mario Party game.

More Fun in Class!

Some of my latest doodles, this time from my Heidegger seminar.


(Yes, that is the Rocketeer flying in the corner. Or maybe Iron Man?)

Sunday, September 9, 2007

I <3 Vocoders (even fake ones)!

So I could have been doing homework today, but instead I spent the day working on a song I'm recording. It's coming along nicely, but it isn't quite finished yet.

While I was working on the song, I discovered a nifty vocal effect. Okay, so I didn't really discover it, but I discovered a way to produce a cool sound that you'll probably recognize from certain OC scenes/SNL skits. Anyway, I decided I had to use it to do something, and here's what I came up with.

Vocoder Love.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

We're Number 1!

I did it! I am officially the first entry in Google for Shake Shack Spider-man. My co-worker Viviana was unimpressed since that's probably not a particularly popular search term, but whatever. As someone whose name has been co-opted by both a famous rock musician and a well-known journalist (not to mention a photographer and a voice actor(?!)), I'm just happy that I'm the first to show up for anything.

It does make one wonder, though...

What if everyone--well, anyone with a web presence--secretly has one slightly random search topic that they're the first entry for and they've just never happened to search for that one specific thing? Try it, oh loyal but silent readers (I know you exist... yes, I'm talking to you, Lizzie.)! Try it and let me know if you find anything. I figure I can milk this whole thing for at least one more post if you do, right?

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Bad Apple

For a company that is generally so consistantly right, Apple sure has been making a lot of missteps recently.

The first I noticed was with iLife '08. In addition to updating Garageband and iPhoto (both of which are MUCH better, by the way), they also launched a heavily-hyped completely overhauled iMovie... which was uniformly hated. I can sort of understand what they were going for. The program effortlessly syncs up with Youtube; combine that with the Macbook's built in iSight and you've got the videoblogging tool for the masses. Never mind that all the advanced functionality that iMovie HD (that's what the old version was called) is gone, because what's really important is that you can upload to Youtube with one click.

The second blunder came this week. In his Keynote address unveiling the wholly-retooled iPod line, Steve Jobs announced that the iPhone was dropping in price to $399. That's a $200 price cut if you're bad at math. Obviously, this sort of thing happens all the time in the tech industry. Prices are always dropping as the next new thing comes along. But the iPhone's only been out a few months now and pretty much everyone who purchased one in the first wave is, understandably, feeling scammed.

The nice thing about Apple, though, is that you can still count on them to own up to their mistakes and make things right. Anyone who gets a copy of iLife '08 can download a copy of iMovie HD and you can actually have both versions of iMovie on your computer without any problem. On the iPhone front, Jobs put an open letter on the front page of the Apple site apologizing and letting current iPhone owners know that they'll soon be getting $100 credit with Apple. It's a canny business move--maybe it'll go toward one of those nifty new iPod nanos--but it's also just being legit. You gotta respect that.

I don't know why I felt the need to rant about this since anyone who cares probably already knows all about it. I guess I was just shocked to see Apple screw up so flagrantly and twice in as many months. It makes me a little concerned about a company that has always impressed me. Let's hope they go back to doing that.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Class Notes, Day 1 (Or FUN WITH MY SCANNER!)

Whoa!

Apparently my last post has brought me ever closer to a position as the foremost authority on the topic of the Shake Shack and Spider-man as they relate to one another. That is to say, I'm now number 3 on Google if you search for Shake Shack Spider-man.

This post is in no way an attempt to move myself up to number one. I swear.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Spider-man Shake Shack: The Reckoning

So I know it's been over a week since my last post, and specifically over a week since I said that I'd post a picture of Spider-man at the Shake Shack, but never let it be said that I do not deliver when I make a promise.
(Click the image for full-size)


EDIT: Here's a picture of the real thing for comparison purposes. (The cup is also dead-on identical, but I couldn't find a good picture of that.)


I heard they bought several issues over at the Shack after I told them about it. And by I heard I really mean that my manager friends over there told me.

Another interesting thing is that the shack says "Master Shack" on it, which I can only assume is a reference to Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

(As a semi-related note, astute readers may notice I did not use the summer tag on this post. That's because I'm now back at school, which is why my scanner is set up, which is how I'm able to bring you this image. Word.)

Friday, August 24, 2007

I'm awesome!

So today was my last day as an intern at Marvel. It's been a fun time; I hope my blogging about the comics has been at least somewhat entertaining. On the plus side, I'll probably have a lot less cultureblogging to do, which means I won't be able to slack off and replace regular posts with those.

It's also friday, which at Marvel is bundle day. That means that around 3:30 in the afternoon, the interns (and many junior editors) head downstairs to the mailroom to pick up bundles of free comics for the editors. Each editor gets a copy of every comic Marvel puts out; the senior editors also get every DC comic along with all of the Marvel trade paperbacks (which are compilations, usually of about six issues). If you're an intern, you get whatever the editors don't want or have finished reading. Surprisingly, I've managed to snag a lot of cool stuff.

Anyway, the point of this whole bundle day explanation (besides taking advantage of my last chance to talk about my internship) is that this week's bundle contained Issue 40 of Sensational Spider-man. It's the last real issue of Sensational Spider-man before it's cancelled, and features Spidey in a rather angry and contemplative mood. Naturally, he runs into God (in hobo form) and they decide to have a chat while eating a burger. And where would they go for a burger if not the "Master Shack", a slightly-altered version of the Shake Shack?

As you might expect, I got a big kick out of Peter Parker hanging at my former place of employment, so I wanted to post a scan of the page in here. Spider-man and the Shake Shack are probably two of the most popular topics in the blogosphere (if you cut out politics and music :-\) so I figured it'd be a piece of cake to find one online. No such luck. I did discover, though, that if you Google Shake Shack Spider-man, I'm the fifth entry. That's pretty cool. So now I know that somebody's reading my blog besides Max and my dad, even if you're not commenting. Ha! And you thought you could trick me...

So yep, I'll be adding the Shack to the places I share with Spider-man, a list that already includes Columbia, where we both go to school, as well as 10 East 40th Street, former home of Marvel Comics, current home of Echo Design (where my parents work) and headquarters for some villainous businessmen that showed up an issue of Spectacular Spider-man. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

Okay, that's all for now. Expect a scan of that page soon, and thanks for putting up with a REALLY geeky (but maybe in a cool way?) entry.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Yep, it's time for Culturebloggin'

BOOKS
-The Long Goodbye, by Raymond Chandler - Having finished Yiddish Policemen's Union, I realized that as much as I love noir detective fiction, I haven't read that much. Chandler seemed like a good place to start. Now I just want to see the Altman film adaptation.

MOVIES
-Superbad - For a while now I've been claiming that my generation's definitive teen movie was, much to my dismay, American Pie. I am happy to report that Superbad has taken that title with the movie equivalent of a first-round KO. If you believe you are even remotely capable of appreciating a movie that begins with the protagonists discussing which porn site to subscribe to in college, you owe it to yourself to see this film.

TV
-Californication - I spent my formative years wanting to be Fox Mulder, so I think I'm predisposed to like this show. I can't even really do justice to the show without ruining some part of the two episodes I've watched. All I can say is that it's vulgar, over-the-top, and contagiously watchable. I'm hooked.

MUSIC
-Daft Punk, Keyspan Park, August 9. Just go read the review of the show on Fluxblog. He already described the inability to describe the concert in any meaningful way better than I could. I've also got more pictures on facebook, which I think do better justice to the show than any writing could. (The facebook link is actually a public link, so even non-facebook members should be able to see the pictures... let me know if it doesn't work.)



Okay, that's all for now. Maybe soon I'll catch up on my comic reading, but that's tough to remember.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Short and Sweet

I'm in West Virginia on really slow wireless, so I'ma keep this brief, but I wanted to update the cultureblog slightly. Mostly, I saw Bourne Ultimatum (and I have an essay on that coming soon) and finished reading The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon. The book was really good. In typical Chabon fashion it is both an easy engaging read and a deep, complicated book. The actual writing is a pleasure to read in a way that most books are not. Usually I find long metaphors and complicated sentences distracting and contrived, but Chabon has a way with words that allows him to pull it off. About the actual story, it's a clever twist on 1940s-style detective stories. The catch is that it takes place in an alternate Alaska which is a temporary Jewish homeland. The characters all speak Yiddish and observe the Sabbath and such. Meyer Landsman, Chabon's Jewish Sam Spade character, is engaging enough on his own to justify reading the book, but every character is fascinating and the plot twists and turns like a good whodunit should. I'm a fan.

A few days ago I also went and saw a Daft Punk concert that was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I'll post more details and some pictures soon, though all the pictures will probably be on facebook well in advance of the post.

Okay, no more for now.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

No, seriously?

So yesterday I couldn't help but notice that there were several newspapers that ran the Caroline Giuliani story as front page news. Ignoring for a moment the politics of the situation, I'd just like to point out that A GIRL JOINED A FACEBOOK GROUP AND IT MADE THE FRONT PAGE OF SEVERAL NEWSPAPERS.

Does anyone realize how big a deal this is in terms of the importance of Facebook in modern American life? And more importantly, does anyone realize how big a deal this in in terms of its status as one of the signs of the impending apocalypse?

Monday, August 6, 2007

Return of the Cultureblogging

I realized I haven't done one of these in a while, so here goes. Some are sort of old.

Movies

-Final Destination 3 - This was not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it has a fantastic soundtrack. Playing Love Roller Coaster right after a scene where tons of people die on a Roller Coaster? BRILLIANT.

Theater

-Beyond Glory - I actually saw this a while ago with my dad but forgot to write about it. It's a one-man show in which actor Stephen Lang plays eight different recipients of the Medal of Honor and tells their stories from their point of view. I enjoyed it and in some ways found it very moving. As a play, though, not the most memorable thing I've seen.

-Frost/Nixon - Contrast that with this one, which is easily one of the best plays I've seen in a long time. For those who don't know, Frost/Nixon is about the infamous television interviews with David Frost, a British talk show host, and Richard Nixon following his resignation. The writing, directing, and acting are all very intelligent. The two leads own their roles and the script is tight and clever. It's funny without breaking the mood and it quotes Aeschylus with a legitimate purpose. One of the things I thought was reall cool was the way the show uses a television display as its only real backdrop. It reminds the audience that Richard Nixon was a man whose career was, in many ways, defined and bookended by television.

What's also interesting about the play is the generational gap it represents. The story is one that our parents' generation is very familiar; the outcome is one they already know. For me, on the other hand, it's much more of a thriller. What will happen next? Can the less-than-legitimate journalist Frost break Nixon? I won't spoil the ending in case you, like I, aren't very well-versed in somewhat recent American history.

Music

-Squeeze w/Fountains of Wayne - I know Fountains of Wayne better than I know Squeeze, which is to say that the only Squeeze song I know (which I didn't even realize was them) is Tempted by the Fruit of Another. That said, both bands were awesome and now I need to go get a Squeeze album or two. Interestingly, the crowd was a lot older than I expected. I know Squeeze was big in the 80s, but I guess they've been sort of skipped over in this current 80s revival. The young people seem more interested in groups like New Order and Echo and the Bunnymen. Isn't there any place in the canon for a wacky rockabilly/new wave group?

Comics

Um, I don't even know... This is why I should write these more frequently. But I'll try.

-Avengers Forever - A ragtag group of Avengers are plucked from throughout time to save the universe from Destruction. Kang the conqueror guest stars, and he never fails to entertain. It doesn't hurt that it's written by Kurt Busiek, who is consistently great.

-Sentinel - Loser high school student with a knack for engineering discovers a broken-down sentinel (read: giant robot) and helps it repair itself. Along the way he makes new friends and learns about honesty and responsibility. This one's written by Sean McKeever, who also writes Spider-man Loves Mary Jane, which I love.

-Spider-man Loves Mary Jane, vol 1. - This actually also collects the two Mary Jane miniseries that came before the monthly SM<3MJ book. Think The OC meets Spider-man with wonderful anime-inspired art that still manages to look fresh and American. What's not to like?

-Spider-man: Blue - Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, both of Heroes fame though this was way before that, take on Spider-man and tell the story of his earliest romantic encounters with Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane. Noticing a trend here?

-Ultimate Spider-man - I've read pretty much the entire series, and enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to. Bendis really has a knack for Peter Parker's voice, even though it's very different than the way he writes the same character (albeit older) in New Avengers. In many ways this reminds me of Spider-man Loves Mary Jane because of its focus on high school drama rather than just the fighting, but it's a slightly more well-round account and the ultimate universe is fun to explore, because it's so different from the Marvel universe you know.

-Ultimate X-men - This was good, but I didn't dig it as much as Spider-man.

-Blaze of Glory and Apache Skies - Two rough and tumble stories about the Western characters in Marvel's stable (if you'll pardon the pun). I love westerns so I really enjoyed these, even if Blaze of Glory is almost the same story as the Magnificent Seven.

-Bits of Stan Lee and Frank Miller's runs on Daredevil - There's a reason these guys get the props they do. Both are great.

-Fear Agent - One of the cool things I get to do is look at submissions that artists and writers send us. Fear Agent was one of these. It's a story about an alcoholic intergalactic exterminator who also happens to be the last remaining member of the most badass military organization to ever exist on Earth. Some of the other books in writer Rick Remender's submission didn't really do it for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed Fear Agent. His drunken, Samuel Clemens-quoting protagonist is endearing, as is the general tone reminiscent of Star Wars if it were told from the perspective of one of Han Solo's sketchier friends.

Man, this used to be so much easier when I could just list everything. I didn't realize how far behind I was. I'll do more later.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Resolution

Okay, I'm officially going to start actually writing things when I think of them, instead of slacking off only to have someone at the Times write the exact same article months later.

I'm obliquely referring to Manohla Dargis's Times piece on Comic-Con. Now granted, hers is on the San Diego Con and mine was going to be on the New York Comic-Con, which is the one I attended, but she basically says the exact same thing I wanted to say, namely that as geeky as Comic-Con is, there's something really beautiful about it. I was really moved by the sense of community at Comic-con, which manifested itself in two ways.

First, there was a general sense of freedom and acceptance. Some of us might have secretly snickered at the people in the anime-inspired costumes but nobody gets bullied at these sort of things. If you want to dress like an anime character and you don't have the body for it... well, I'm not going to stop you.

Second, the connection between the fans and the creators. I mean, there are obviously the big panels with tons and tons of real big-name people (at least, big-name if you follow comics... I was 25 feet away from Stan Lee!) but there're also opportunities to just go up and talk to the people making comics or computer games or whatever you're into. The best part is that in general they're actually pretty into it. They're happy to connect with fans and have conversations about how much they loved Shogun Warriors when they were growing up and stuff like that. I challenge you to name any other industry where that happens? Movies? TV? Forget about it.

So yeah, if I could travel back in time this post would be a lot longer, but since the Times article pretty much covered all the things I'm saying anyway, I guess I'll just stop. But watch out, Dargis! Next time I'm totally scooping you.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Presenting: Clubs!

So yesterday at lunch I was thinking about this semi-collectible card game I'm designing, and specifically this trump mechanic I'd come up. It didn't seem quite right for that game, but I wanted to do something with it. I've been toying with notion of creating a game for a standard playing card deck for a while now, since I thought it would be fun to make a game that I can teach to anybody really quickly, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. So now, without further ado, I present...

CLUBS!

Clubs is a game for roughly 4 players. It requires only a standard 52-card deck of playing cards.

SETUP

Shuffle the deck and deal the entire deck out. For a normal four-person game each player has a hand of thirteen cards. For other sizes, remove any excess cards from the game so that all players have an equal number of cards. At the start of the game, clubs are trump.

PLAY

The player to the left of the dealer leads the first trick. Moving counter-clockwise, each player plays one card from his/her hand. The highest trump card wins the trick; if there are no trump cards then the highest card played, regardless of suit, wins. In the event of a tie, nobody wins the trick. The player who won the most recent trick then leads and play continues.

If in any trick one suit outnumbers the other suits, that suit becomes the new trump, starting with the next trick.

WINNING THE GAME

At the end of the game, each player takes the tricks he/she won and counts the number of trump cards (based on whatever the final trump suit was) and non-trump cards. Players receive 2 points for each trump card taken and 1 point for every other card. Whoever has the most points when everyone feels like stopping wins the game!

SOME NOTES

There are some things about this game I'm unsure of (so any playtesting comments are appreciated). Specifically, here's what I'm concerned about:

-What to do with tied tricks. Right now I'm just throwing 'em out, but I feel like there ought to be a more elegant solution. Maybe adding them to the next trick?

-When exactly does the new trump kick on. My original version had the trump kicking in immediately and affecting the current trick. I changed it to affect the next trick because I liked the idea of having to sacrifice one card which could be a winner to make other cards winners. It's a nice trade-off. Otherwise, it seems a bit too powerful a move, shifting the game in your favor and winning a free trick.

-The scoring system. Originally I thought to just make it a point per card, but I like the idea of trying to win trump cards, and I thought it'd be cool to play off the mechanic in Hearts, so I switched it to a point per trump card and nothing for non-trump. That seemed a little unfair, though, and the sort of system that could easily screw over someone who'd played the whole hand well. I think the current version is a good compromise.

So yeah, please play it. And if you do, let me know if it's fun. If it isn't, I'll fix it, cause it'd be cool if this were a game that people actually played. Now all I need to do is make up a drinking version...

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Babel indeed!

SamniteX (8:45:36 PM): their plan is to watch Babel
SamniteX (8:45:37 PM): and
SamniteX (8:45:48 PM): that sounds like a depressing evening
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:49 PM): ... ehh
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:50 PM): yeah
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:53 PM): i didn't like that movie
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:56 PM): i'm not into movies like that
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:59 PM): i'm a grown up
SADISTic chrissy (8:45:59 PM): :-)
SamniteX (8:46:06 PM): huh?
SADISTic chrissy (8:46:08 PM): hahaha
SADISTic chrissy (8:46:12 PM): babe is such a kid movie
SADISTic chrissy (8:46:20 PM): and duh the pig should be eaten
SamniteX (8:46:23 PM): babel
SamniteX (8:46:27 PM): not babe!
SADISTic chrissy (8:46:28 PM): OH

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

whoa.

I dunno if this is old news or not--I mean, I'm sure it is, but I'm not sure whether it's old news that anyone's heard about. I was reading some article on the New York Times website just a moment ago and discovered that if you double click on any word, the site will launch a new window with a dictionary definition of the word. How cool is that?

(this is the part where you tell me everyone has known about this for a year...)

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Cower Before The Power of Chairlactus!

I know this is sort of weak post considering I haven't updated since Tuesday (has it really been that long?!?) but I just read this Times article about urban explorers and thought it was really cool, so I figured I'd blog it.

They mention Columbia's tunnel systems in the article, which is pretty cool in that "it's cool to read about my school in the Times even though it's mentioned regularly" sort of way, and reminds me that I really ought to check those out some time before I graduate. Are they even still open? I remember reading that the school was cracking down on tunnel crawling, but I'm not sure whether they ever actually went through with it. In any case, it's about time I came to grips with my minor claustrophobia, now that I no longer really have any problem with needles. (Whoa! Sam talking about his fears in his blog? Unheard of! Quick, make a joke!) Yeah, then all I need to do is get blinded by radioactive goop that also gives me radar sense and I'll totally be Daredevil. Yep, Sam Roberts, the Man Without Fear. That's me.

On an unrelated note, I got my car window smashed in yesterday while I was playing baseball at Rye Neck High School. I can't understand how that happened in a relatively full public parking lot, but whatever. It just sucks, especially cause they took Chrissy's camera and cash.

On another unrelated note, I had a weird wine-induced dream last night, which somewhat resembled Marvel's "Civil War" series of comics, only all the superheroes were chairs. The dream ended when Chairlactus showed up. Seriously. Best. Dream. Ever.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Things you discover in random conversations at Marvel Comics

Ever notice that Star Wars has basically no female characters? I'm talking NONE. Not only is there only one female protagonist in the entire original trilogy, but there aren't even very many secondary characters.

Here's my list:
Leia
Mon Mothma
Oola the slave girl
Aunt Beru

Am I missing any?

You know what's worse, though? The new trilogy really doesn't rectify anything. It's still Amidala, Anakin's mother, Aunt Beru (again), and some random unnamed jedi. You'd think Lucas would get with the times.

(As an aside, there is a whole website devoted to proving me wrong, but they draw from the books and are generally too obscure for me to count. If I don't know the character's name, she's probably not relevant enough.)

Monday, July 23, 2007

Blogging Deathly Hallows III

Current Page: Finished. (and for the record, I have been for a while.

i will refrain from posting anything in this area about the book, so as not to spoil things, but I will say that I was pretty much totally satisfied. Was it life-altering? No, but I never really expected it to be.

(see comments for more stuff WITH SPOILERS. You've been warned, again.)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Blogging Deathly Hallows III

Current Page: 222

I expected to see a lot of people reading Deathly Hallows on the subway, but it seems to be the exact opposite. Whenever I break it out, people around me start whispering. Y'know, "wow, there it is!" and stuff like that. I think my reading the book on the subway has sparked more conversations than I feel entirely comfortable with.

(more in the comments.)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Blogging Deathly Hallows II

I'm officially starting to write these entries (or at least the spoilery parts of them, in the comments field. So don't read the comments if you don't want the book spoiled. You've been warned! Seriously, I really don't want to ruin the book for you!

Current Page: 125

Blogging Deathly Hallows

Well, I can't resist writing about the absurdly huge event that is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so I think I'm going to blog as I go. I don't plan on giving away any spoilers, and if I'm writing anything that even comes close I'll give PLENTY of warning. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is ruin the book for people. I'm not that guy. Mostly I just wanna write down some general observations, mention any allusions I catch, and try to keep track of all the references to the older books that I haven't read since they came out. You can't hold that against me, right?

With that out of the way...

Current Page: 36

You can tell from the start that this is a very different Harry Potter book. Did anyone else notice the "We now present the seventh and final installment in the epic tale of Harry Potter" on the inside jacket cover? And how about the Aeschylus and William Penn quotes before the first chapter? I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I am somewhat concerned that this whole thing is getting too big for its britches.

I'd remembered that Bellatrix and Sirius were related, but I didn't remember the exact connection. I looked it up on Wikipedia, where they have a remarkably complex family tree. (As an aside, Wikipedia is full of spoilers. I'm managing to evade them, but it's tough. I suggest you avoid it.) As I thought, the two are first cousins. What I didn't realize is she has two sisters; one is Tonks's mother (thus the niece references) and the other is Lucius Malfoy's wife Narcissa (thus the references to them being, well, sisters.)

The other thing that I had to look up was the mirror shard that Harry has in his trunk. Apparently, it is a two-way mirror. You use it by speaking someone's name, at which point you both can see each other and communicate. As far as I can tell, Harry has never actually used it prior to Deathly Hallows, and I have no idea how it got broken. Just from being in the trunk? Anyone know?

Okay, back to reading.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Spider-Sam


I KNEW there was something more important that I wanted to blog about tonight and I finally remembered what it was.

I am officially a published comic book writer. Okay, so it's only the letters page for Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man... but that's still more than you have on your resume, generic person who isn't as cool as me! So there!

(PS go to your local comic book store and look for Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #22 if you want to see it.)

This Blog Post Has A Twist Ending

For the record, here is a list of things that make a reservationist's life miserable:
-Restaurant Week
-Exploding transformers (not the cool kind, the city-powering kind) that create tremendous traffic throughout all of midtown.

Y'know, I just went to find a link to a New York Times article about the exploding transformer. Apparently it was actually an exploding steam pipe. And it turns out that the one wounded person I read about before is actually one dead person and 30 wounded. So uh, yeah, I guess I can put up with a few extra phone calls because people were late or cancelling. Please ignore any previous whining.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Culturebloggin' again

I realized I've been very bad about the cultureblogging lately, but lemme see what I remember.

TV:

Don't know if I've mentioned it but I've been watching Flight of the Conchords on HBO. It's about these two guys from New Zealand who are in a band and living in New York. They go about their lives trying to make it and mostly failing. Every now and then they break into absurd parody songs in various styles. The season starts off a bit slow, but the episodes have gotten progressively funnier. The newest one had Jake and me almost falling out of our chairs. TV-links it... trust me.

COMICS:

-The Astonishing X-men #1-18 - This is the X-men series Joss Whedon has been writing. Basically, it makes you acutely aware of the fact that Joss Whedon was born to write X-men comics. I've generally found X-men comics these days unreadable as there are too many characters and the plots are too convoluted. Whedon brings it back to only a few core X-men: Beast, Wolverine, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Shadowcat, and a character whose entrance is too great for me to ruin in this silly blog. Whedon reminds us that ultimately, X-men is about a bunch of people struggling with everything that people struggle with plus strange mutant powers that sometimes seem more like curses. I would argue that even people who don't like comics will like this one.

-52 Volume 1 - I've been saying how terrible I find a lot of DC stuff lately, but this one is great. And not just because one of the guys I work for was the editor before he left DC. It's a mystery story, with four or five mysteries going on at once, and the pacing is flawless. I can't wait for volume 2, even knowing that it'll eventually all lead to Countdown, which I can't stand.

-Batman: Year 100 - Batman + Blade Runner + 1984 = Awesome. It's totally sci-fi, but also one of the most realistic takes on Batman that I've seen. Paul Pope just nails it from the totally realistic batsuit to the "huff" speech bubbles he gives Batman after he beats up the badguys. Bonus points for making the whole thing about how Batman's real power is his myth rather than anything he actually does.

MOVIES:

Well, I just saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I liked it. None of the Harry Potter movies are really completely self-sufficient, but I thought the acting was fantastic and it was directed with a certain artistry. The plot was streamlined not just to get all the key plot points in but with an eye toward thematic cohesion, and that counts for something in my book.

One thing I thought was interesting is the way they choose to portray wand combat. It's not a very easy thing to make visually stimulating, so the big battle scene at the end alternates between all sorts of influences. One moment Sirius and Harry are fighting Deatheaters and the camera moves back for a wide shot; it's suddenly a fencing battle with the characters moving like they're thrusting and parrying. Next thing you know Voldemort and Dumbledore are facing off in a room full of columns, which are chipped by stray blasts just like those columns from the Matrix. The wands have become machine guns. It seems a little bit all over the place, but I think it works. Magic should be a mishmash of all different sorts of combat, so the scene feels right, at least in my opinion.

Bonnaroo: The Beginning of the End

I know it's going to be a good last day when I wake up having actually gotten a decent night's sleep and our neighbor's stereo (yes, it's still on!) is playing Wilco's I am Trying to Break Your Heart. (For those not in the know, it's one of my favorite songs.) Things I forgot to mention in recounting saturday's events: I broke down and took a shower. There was no hot water. It was fucking freezing. Still the best shower I've ever taken in my life. That said, it's Sunday morning and I'm basically a dustmonster again.

Sunday is our slow day; we camp out early at the Which Stage, set up my blanket and decide to not move until we must. Continuing with my trend of breaking down, I also buy a burrito. The burrito stand is self-serve and it's $8.00 for a tortilla, so I make it go a LONG way by filling the burrito to the point where I discover that I can't actually roll it up. My burrito mission had been a bit of a concern since Teal and Kelsey were also going to get food and we didn't want to leave our stuff unattended. Luckily, we have just met a group of girls from American University and bonded over our shared interests in siting on blankets and playing card games. They watch our stuff for us.

Equally fortunate is the fact that all the early bands I want to see are on the Which Stage, so we sit and relax for several hours, playing cards, conversing with the American ladies, and rocking out to the music of Pete Yorn, Wolf Mother, and the Decemberists. Our blanket site turns out to be less than ideal when we discover that there is a large beer stand directly between us and the band. Fairly drained from everything else that's happened this weekend, we don't mind, not even a little. Around this time we also discover that Kelsey's aviators are not particularly well-suited (pardon the pun) for playing card games.

So the natural question is, of course, what happens with the cute American girls? The answer is nothing, and the reason has nothing to do with the inherent cockblocking that happens when you're living in a tent with two girls or it being Sunday. The real reason is, simply, I am FAR too dirty to even consider making out with anyone. There are different sorts of dirty. Muddy and sweaty and such, fine. But dust is a whole different beast. It covers your whole body like a film; you can't get it off, really, and it doesn't just dry up. It's not so much a separate object as it is something that permeates you. Like having a really nasty flu, it's something of a turn off. Teal disagrees with my assessment, but I stand by it.

Anyway. It's time to stand up and actually move, because Wilco is playing at the What Stage. Their set is excellent if a bit predictable. They play most of the songs they've been playing recently; it's more or less Kicking Television (their live album) plus some songs off their newest album. Still, it's Wilco! I mean, who really cares?

Following Wilco, we casually walk back to the Which Stage to see the White Stripes. For unknown reasons the air is filled with dust to the point where it starts to seem foggy out. The White Stripes start and end early, but their show is spot-on. Gone are the elaborate stage set-ups, marimbas and absurd costumes. It's back to Jack and Meg, in red and white, drums, guitar, and an electric piano. This is the first I've heard of their new songs (besides the single Icky Thump) and they really fit in with their early catalog-focused set. I won't spend too much time on the Stripes here, because I want to write an in-depth post about them soon, but I will say that playing We're Going to Be Friends and then announcing that someone in the audience would like to propose to his girlfriend is a pretty classy move.

As the Stripes' set ends, I turn around and see a massive black smoke ring rising up over the concert. They've been doing this for the past two days, but this ring is perfectly lined up with a stream of white smoke from a jet. I can't help but feel that things have come to a close, even though we still have Widespread Panic to go see and a night of partying ahead of us. We spend a bit of time watching Widespread Panic, but none of us are particularly into them and we're totally drained anyway. Back at the tent, our neighbors are packing up their stuff to leave and their radio is finally off. I guess that's it, then. The next morning I'll fly home. Everything will be delayed, I'll miss a connection, end up at a different airport than I'd planned, and my luggage won't be back in my possession for three days, but for the moment, everything is right in the world, so I think I'll end here.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Whoops!

So it's approximately 7:30 and I'm sitting in the reservations office at work, pretty bored, when I get a phone call. A man with a bad connection and a foreign accent says, "Hi, I'd like to make a reservation for two guests tonight, please."
"Sure," I reply. "What time were you looking for?"
"9:30... It's for a chef at Per Se," he answers. Now, our last booked reservation is at 8:30, but we're technically serving until 10:00 and Per Se is a nice restaurant (and one that we have a good relationship with), so I tell the man I'm happy to take the reservation and ask for his name.
"Thomas," he tells me.
"And his last name?"
"Keller. K-E-L-L-E-R." At least that's what I hear.
"Oh, okay, I didn't realize it was the executive chef." Thomas Keller is possibly the biggest name in American restaurants, if not the world, excluding the people who are famous for having TV shows. Among people who know food, he's the man.

The guy, who I assume is an assistant of his, ignores that comment and we finish making the reservation. I get off the phone as my manager walks into the office.
"Hey Laura, guess who's coming in tonight at 9:30?" I say.
"Who?"
"Thomas Keller."
"No way. Really?" And like that, the restaurant goes code red.

Another manager comes in to ask me if it's a joke. A chef comes in to ask if I'm serious. The entire restaurant starts asking some important questions. Why would Thomas Keller come in to what will be an empty restaurant on a Sunday night? Why would he want to dine on a night when our executive chef isn't in the kitchen? Nobody has good answers. Whatever, though. My shift is over and I've been there since 9 A.M. and I just want to go home.

At about 10 P.M. I get a call from my manager. Apparently, the guest is not Thomas Keller, but a low-level chef at Per Se named Thomas Sellers. With an S. Also, chef had come in to cook for Mr. Keller. Chef who is not known for his even temperament. I am officially terrified to go back to work. Maybe by Wednesday he'll have forgotten?

More Bonnaroo (maybe I'll finish it today)

I think this is the part where we go to the mushroom fountain. I mean, we'd been there several times before but I didn't really have any reason to mention it. It's basically a big, mushroom-shaped fountain, painted in a black and white checkerboard pattern. Here's a picture, though it isn't one I took. (Credit to Stef.)
So yeah, big mushroom. The water gets progressively dirtier as the weekend goes on, but it doesn't really stop anyone from ducking into the fountain to cool down. This time is different, though. There's a slow realization that some fat drunken man is masturbating in the fountain. Naturally, the fountain quickly empties. We aren't planning on staying long anyway, since Ziggy Marley is starting momentarily, but the creepy dude really clinches it.

Over at the What stage, we lay down our blanket and relax, bathing in the sun and the reggae. Well, Teal and I do. Kelsey goes into a trance, enthralled by Ziggy. Meanwhile, Teal lends out her pipe again, and gets her first trinket added on: a piece of red string. It's not much, but it's a start. Unsurprisingly, Ziggy plays a Bob Marley cover; it's Jammin'. Good times. We stay for all of Ziggy's set then head over to This Tent to catch the end of Fountains of Wayne. As always, they manage to rock a little more than one would think they're capable of. Somehow, we manage to hear pretty much all of their classic songs despite missing half of their set. We get even luckier as we follow their show up with the end of Damien Rice at the Which stage. We're uncertain whether we're at the right place when we first arrive as the band is playing an upbeat acoustic jam, but the next song is his finale, The Blower's Daughter, which is pretty much the only reason anyone even knows who Damien Rice is. The song seems a bit incongruous blasting out over the massive field; its intimacy somewhat disrupted by the sheer magnitude of the crowd. Damien Rice should never be allowed out of tiny night clubs. Sucks, but that's the price you should pay for playing that sort of music.

The nonstop concert bombardment continues back at the What Stage where Ben Harper is playing. The constant migration back and forth is turning the air into a permanent dust cloud. I suspect I'm coming down with some variant of the black lung. Ben Harper is good, but I'm just exhausted at this point, and I fall asleep to the sounds of his slide guitar. I wake up just in time for John Paul Jones to make a guest appearance; the band breaks into a solid rendition of Dazed and Confused. Jones is Saturday's unofficial guest of honor, it seems, after his superjam the night before.

Confident that, seeing as I am not that familiar with Ben Harper, nothing in the set will top the Zep cover, we return to the Which Stage to catch Franz Ferdinand. To be honest, I find them a bit sloppy, and the mixing is a little weak. That said, the music is great, but we are too tired to dance. We listen to about half the set before giving up and going to the tent. It has been an exhausting day, and we haven't even gotten to the Police's set.

We eat much-needed food (and alcohol... it's still Bonnaroo!) and we hear the opening riff to Message in a Bottle. It takes us a little longer than I'd like, but we go back to the What stage for the third time. The Police play a killer set, about which plenty has already been written in the blogosphere. I don't feel like I need to say much, or am qualified to (since I'm not particularly knowledgeable about the Police), but I definitely enjoy myself. A slight problem: the backup vocals are mixed far too low, which takes a lot of the oomph out of the Roxanne chorus. It doesn't really matter, though, because they still tear it up. I tease Teal and Stef relentlessly when they leave early to go take a nap before the final show of the night.


The final show is, of course, The Flaming Lips, who have been given a tremendous block of the schedule, from 12:00 to 2:30. Teal and Stef say they'll catch up with Kelsey and me (along with Teal's friend Steve), as they're still asleepish. We arrive early and people are tossing laser pointers into the audience. The people who get them set about aiming them all at the stage's logo, creating a very cool effect. I suspect it is some sort of promotional tool, but Wayne Coyne appears on stage and informs us that the laser pointers will be part of the Lips' show, and though he doesn't mind having them shined in his face (apparently that who destroying your sight thing is a myth) he'd appreciate it if we didn't shine them in other people's faces and if we saved the batteries for when we were actually supposed to use them. This deters approximately nobody from shining the laser pointers at the stage.

At midnight the lighting rig decends from the roof of the stage, revealing its true form. It's actually a UFO and the band comes out of a door in the front one by one. Finally, only Wayne is left. He emerges from the top of the spacecraft inside a giant bubble as if he's some strange future-hippie version of Glinda the Good Witch. The Lips' set is fantastic, and the lasers come in handy when Coyne brandishes some sort of weird hoola hoop that reflects them in a crazy way. The interesting thing is that the Lips have always been good at creating a spectacular live show, but the live music has always been trouble for them. Most of their stuff is so heavily produced that they can't accurately perform it live without the aid of a lot of recordings. The new album, on the other hand, is less dense and thus works much better in a live setting. In fact, I'd say it works better as a live performance than it does as a recorded album. Maybe.

The only problem with the Flaming Lips is that they have the misfortune of playing at the end of a LONG day and despite my status as a huge fan, I can't hold out. Kelsey and Steve have long since gone to bed and after about an hour, I too give up trying to stay awake and trudge back to the tent. On my way, I pass by Gov't Mule's show. They've got John Paul Jones out on the stage playing Living Loving Maid. I wonder whether the bands all have to get together and draw straws to see who gets which Zeppelin song. Then I pass out in the tent.